Tag: eldercare

Prayers for Givers of Care

We know that we need God’s help to be the best Giver of Care that our loved ones deserve.  Listed below are some prayers that you may consider using when you can’t find the words you are looking for.  Of course, The Lord’s Prayer is one many of us revert to either out of habit or choice.  The team at Genus™  decided to put together some prayers to help you through the difficult and often overwhelming task of being a Giver of Care.  We know that with a little help, this task can become rewarding and fulfilling.  Perhaps one day you will look back on and thank God for having this special opportunity to bless another one of God’s children by being the hands of feet of Jesus.

 

Short prayers, often called “breath prayers” as they can be said in one breath.  These are helpful when you are in the midst of a task, or in a particularly stressful moment that you need to call upon God for help.  Sometimes, just saying the name of “Jesus” or “Help me Lord” or “Show me the way, God” can get you through a tough moment.  It helps to take a deep breath as you say them.  In this link from Guideposts, there is a short slide show (for those of us who are visually motivated) with meaningful illustrations for some short “breath prayers.

 

Other prayers to consider
God, help me to be flexible and have the ability to go with the flow as I care for ________. I pray that I will not get angry when and if things don’t go as planned. Help me to uncover the humor in these situations and not take life so seriously. But most of all, Lord, I want my Receiver of Care to know he/she is loved. Thank you for your unconditional love and strength.

 

Lord, thank you for allowing me the honor of being your hands and feet today.  Help me to shower your grace and love upon my Receiver of Care today, and every day.  Help me to show him/her your joy and peace.  I don’t always feel peaceful or joyful when being a Giver of Care.  I need you to help me do this please.  I thank you and praise you God.

 

Thank you for the precious gift of laughter, Lord.  Please lift the heavy burdens I feel today and let me lift the spirits of my Receiver of Care. I thank you and praise you, Father, for the unique gifts you have blessed me with and those you have yet to reveal. Continue to use me boldly for your honor and glory.

 

Change my heart, O God, and give me compassion to love others even when they are difficult to love and not able or willing to show appreciation. Please rid me of the negative feelings I have, and help me know in my heart that this IS your purpose for my life right now.  I want to honor you and my Receiver of Care Lord.  Help me to do that with grace and dignity.

 

From the Catholic Health Association:

Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.
MATTHEW 11:28-30

HEALER OF SOULS AND COMFORTER OF THE WEARY, HELP TO LIGHTEN THE BURDEN OF FAMILIES WHO ARE CARING FOR THEIR SICK LOVED ONES.
Accompany them on their journey and ease their anxiety and fears. Surround them with the love and strength of others, so they may experience the healing presence of the communion of saints. We ask this through the intercession of Our Lady of Lourdes and in the name of your Son, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, now and forever. AMEN.

 

 

If you don’t find what you are looking for here, Amazon has some nice devotional books for Caregivers.  It’s a good idea to start your day out with some sort of devotional to put you into a “God frame of mind”.  I personally read “Jesus Calling” each morning and can usually apply it to my caregiving situation.  I use both the hardcover version and the app version on my phone.  There are many prayer apps available as well.  Let Google be your friend.   God bless you on this journey!  We are praying for you in this caregiving journey!

 

The Magic of Involving Our Children in Eldercare

This video, created by Sunny Rae Keller, a young child with a grandmother suffering from Alzheimer’s, says what I could never attempt to write here.   The innocent love of children can do wonders to show us what is really important in this battle we fight.  Once you have finished drying your eyes, read on to find out ways to involve your children in eldercare.  Great blessings await you all if you embrace this powerful relationship.

Are They Being Ripped Off?

It’s easy to get caught up in the mindset that our children are really the ones who got “ripped off” when our parents are suffering from dementia or another aging ailment.  I know I have heard these exact words from friends who are in this situation, and I could understand that feeling completely.

  • They don’t have a grandparent that is “all there”.
  • They never got to meet the “real grandma or grandpa”.
  • Their free time is tied up with taking care of someone rather than just having fun …

But most kids don’t feel that way.  We are robbing our children of a life-changing and character forming opportunity with this understandable, but misleading attitude.  The song above is evidence of how our children still love fiercely in the face of the ugly beast of aging illnesses.

I love watching how my siblings involve their children in caring for our parents.   My son was grown up and out of state by the time my dad’s Alzheier’s had reached the intervention point.  But my siblings with younger children were torn daily between daily homework and soccer games and attending to my parents’ needs.  Their stress was definitely greater than mine in this arena and it was such a blessing to watch the many creative ways they involved their kids.

How Can the Kids Help?

  • Shopping, cooking and general chores can be more fun when little kids are empowered to help and really feel as if they are contributing to grandma/grandpa’s lives
  • Involving the kids in creating photo montages, either on a poster board or via technology is real fun for the kids and the grandparents
  • Taking the parents to your daily sporting, dance and scouting events is good for everyone and maximizes the use of everyone’s time
  • Thinking of field trips to go to that all may enjoy: the zoo, museums, parks…. Something for everyone.   Check with your local library for discounts to area attractions.  There are loads!
  • Be sure to include music in your kids’ interactions with their grandparents. They can share with each other their favorite songs and you can throw in your classic rock n roll favorites too!
  • Lots and lots of storytelling. Asking the grandparents to tell about when they were growing up.  Kids LOVE to hear these stories

For 101 activities for kids to do with an Alzheimer’s patient from the Alzheimer’s Association, click here.   This list will spark other ideas that may be more specifically suited to you and your family.  Remember, these are precious moments between your children and their grandparents that you are creating.  Enjoy them!

Teaching Our Loved Ones to Ask for Help

rings5Most people want to be independent and do not want to be a burden on the family, hesitating to ask us for the help they need. When dealing with a family member who still has fairly strong cognitive abilities, we can only know where to provide help if we can teach our loved one to ask for help.  Of course we will see some obvious areas where help is needed, but in order to provide the best possible care, we need him/her to be open with us.

Teaching our Parents

When dealing with my father’s Alzheimer’s and my mother’s declining physical health, we had to convince Mom that it was better for us, if she could try to communicate her exact needs to us.   Once she realized that she was “helping” us by asking for what she needed,  then she could do it more easily.   We just needed to turn the tables for her realize that the best way to help us help her, was to be as specific as she could about what she needed.

When Mom saw some of the systems of organization (scheduling, medical, legal and communication) we had in place using the Genus™ App, she could see how knowing what help was needed ahead of time, could help us plan more efficiently and save us time in the end.   Thus, allowing a better quality of life for us all, not just Mom and Dad.  We had to convince Mom that by allowing her children to help with Dad’s Alzheimer’s, she was giving us a chance to give back to them.   She was enabling us to feel empowered about this frustrating and heartbreaking situation.  Again, it took some time for this change to take place, but with loving reminders from her children, she was able to more clearly communicate to us what exactly she needed help with.  This in turn, saved us valuable time as we tried to efficiently manage our personal lives along with caring for our parents.

Four Areas of Safety

But what about when our loved ones don’t even know what they need help with?   Whether it is because of a cognitive decline, or just the fact that our person of care is completely overwhelmed, he/she cannot communicate where exactly help is needed.   It is in this instance we need to remember that there are four areas of their safety to consider.

  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Medical
  • Financial

It might seem overwhelming at first, but if we break it down into these 4 categories and tackle them one at a time, it is definitely doable.   In the Genus™ App, there are numerous articles, videos, and resources centered around these 4 areas of care:

Physical:  Think basic needs.  Food, shelter, clothing, water.  Also think about their mobility and pain factor, although this crosses over with medical.

Emotional:  Is our loved one getting the social interaction daily that is needed?  How about their mood?  Is your POC staying positive?  Do they need more social interaction?  You can track this using the Genus App.

Medical:  Do you have all the important documents and medical information filed in one place?  Are you tracking any specific vitals that need to be communicated to the doctor?  Do you have Medical POA?  If not, who does?

Legal and Financial:  Who is on the bank accounts with your loved one?  Who is helping him/her keep track of spending and finances?   What about plans for the future?

All of these areas are equally important, but some may take priority over others, depending on the situation and depending on timing.  One thing you can be sure of, things change constantly when caring for a loved one.  Keeping track of the changes is what can make the difference between a more positive experience and a very frustrating experience.  The best piece of advice I have here is:  Keep documenting, everything.  You won’t be sorry.  I found that by using the Genus™ App, I could more easily track the mounds of vital information.  Keeping me from feeling completely overwhelmed. Better yet, feeling as if we really have this situation under control.  That truly is the most comforting feeling of all when facing the challenge of caring for a loved one.  Knowing that this person we love so dearly is getting the best possible care we can provide.