Tag: aging

Communicating With Our Receivers of Care

 

If you are involved in caring for an older adult, maybe suffering from Dementia or Alzheimer’s,  or possibly suffering from a physical disability; you already know how difficult communicating with them can sometimes be.   It is understandable that our Receivers of Care can perceive us as ‘bossy’.  It is also understandable that we won’t like that perception one bit!

We didn’t choose to have to tell our loved ones what to do and how to do it.  They certainly did not choose to need care.   It is easy to get frustrated in the whole communication process, ending up in an unnecessary argument.  At the very best, we may meet with passive resistance from our loved ones and that doesn’t help anyone.  At the very worst, an all out war!

This article from Psychology Today provides some excellent tips for communicating with the loved ones we care for.  If you or your loved one are particularly struggling with communication, there is also a book that goes in to greater detail offered in the article.

Finding and Paying For Long Term Care

 

You have found the home-care provider or facility you want to help with the care of your aging loved one, but how does one pay for this?  If your loved one doesn’t have long-term health insurance, things can get expensive very quickly.   This government website answers the many confusing questions involved with the financial end of providing care.

Included in this link is a search engine for finding facility care, home care, and just about anything else you can think of provided in this resource.  The fact that it is not a private industry that receives pay for recommendations is a good way to double check on what’s available to your family to care for your loved one.

 

The Magic of Involving Our Children in Eldercare

This video, created by Sunny Rae Keller, a young child with a grandmother suffering from Alzheimer’s, says what I could never attempt to write here.   The innocent love of children can do wonders to show us what is really important in this battle we fight.  Once you have finished drying your eyes, read on to find out ways to involve your children in eldercare.  Great blessings await you all if you embrace this powerful relationship.

Are They Being Ripped Off?

It’s easy to get caught up in the mindset that our children are really the ones who got “ripped off” when our parents are suffering from dementia or another aging ailment.  I know I have heard these exact words from friends who are in this situation, and I could understand that feeling completely.

  • They don’t have a grandparent that is “all there”.
  • They never got to meet the “real grandma or grandpa”.
  • Their free time is tied up with taking care of someone rather than just having fun …

But most kids don’t feel that way.  We are robbing our children of a life-changing and character forming opportunity with this understandable, but misleading attitude.  The song above is evidence of how our children still love fiercely in the face of the ugly beast of aging illnesses.

I love watching how my siblings involve their children in caring for our parents.   My son was grown up and out of state by the time my dad’s Alzheier’s had reached the intervention point.  But my siblings with younger children were torn daily between daily homework and soccer games and attending to my parents’ needs.  Their stress was definitely greater than mine in this arena and it was such a blessing to watch the many creative ways they involved their kids.

How Can the Kids Help?

  • Shopping, cooking and general chores can be more fun when little kids are empowered to help and really feel as if they are contributing to grandma/grandpa’s lives
  • Involving the kids in creating photo montages, either on a poster board or via technology is real fun for the kids and the grandparents
  • Taking the parents to your daily sporting, dance and scouting events is good for everyone and maximizes the use of everyone’s time
  • Thinking of field trips to go to that all may enjoy: the zoo, museums, parks…. Something for everyone.   Check with your local library for discounts to area attractions.  There are loads!
  • Be sure to include music in your kids’ interactions with their grandparents. They can share with each other their favorite songs and you can throw in your classic rock n roll favorites too!
  • Lots and lots of storytelling. Asking the grandparents to tell about when they were growing up.  Kids LOVE to hear these stories

For 101 activities for kids to do with an Alzheimer’s patient from the Alzheimer’s Association, click here.   This list will spark other ideas that may be more specifically suited to you and your family.  Remember, these are precious moments between your children and their grandparents that you are creating.  Enjoy them!

What Are Young Givers of Care

Our team at genusConnect™ recognizes the value of involving our children in the care of our parents.   It is why we have a special section dedicated to Young Givers of Care.  It is our unique belief that much is to be gained by everyone with actively involving our kids in the care of the aging members of their families.

In my family, the teenage members who have grown up with grandparents suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s, are now part of the care community using the Genus App.  Those that can drive are involved by doing some of the shopping and easier errands.  They can log their visits into the App, providing important feedback for everyone.  They really enjoy taking pictures and adding them to the “Moments” platform.  Some even use the App to call their grandmother.   Get them involved and watch them go!

Who Benefits When the Children Are Involved Caring for Aging Loved Ones?

  • The Children: building of self-esteem, developing empathy, empowerment
  • Our Aging Loved Ones: love, joy, attention, and feeling of usefulness, brain engagement, physical exercise,
  • Us, the Givers of Care:  a little break for us to do other tasks while our parents are happily busy with our kids, satisfaction of knowing we are doing what’s right for all involved; building positive character traits in our children that will last a lifetime

What do we really have to lose by making this challenge in our life a Family Affair?  What is there to be gained?   I think you can see the answers.

Medical Safety for Receivers of Care

One of the most frustrating things to deal with when caring for an aging parent is the many health complications that arise as one ages.   Medical safety is of key concern.  Many family member also acting as caregivers have not had a great deal of experience dealing with doctors and various medical safety issues.   There are many questions that arise, making the whole caring experience a bit overwhelming without the proper information.

Using the Genus™ App

You can document your loved one’s medical conditions in the medical section of the app, list the doctor contact info for that condition along with pertinent medications.  To have all this information literally at your fingertips on your phone is invaluable.   All it takes is one person dedicated to entering the information, and once it is there, any approved member of your care community can easily access this important info as needed.   The end result is caring better, together.

Most important to medical safety is the value of tracking specific medical information inside the app.  Maybe you want to track the patient’s blood pressure and heart rate each day, along with their mood and mobility factor.  All of this is easy to do with the touch of a few keys using the Genus App.

Help in an Emergency

I can honestly say that if I had this app available to me when my dad was alive as we were caring for him with his Alzheimer’s condition, it would have been very helpful.   More than once I was called by the nursing home to say that my dad was being sent to the ER due to a fall or something similar.  Always in the middle of the night.  Then I would go to the ER, sleepy and bleary-eyed, being asked all kinds of questions by the doctors of which I had no answers for.   You see, I wasn’t the family member in charge of the medical information. That was my sister Jane.  She was the medical guru of the family and did a wonderful job keeping track of our parents’ medical conditions and appointments.  But that one person can’t always be available during an emergency.  Had I had the medical information on my phone, as we can do with the Genus App, it would have provided better emergency care for my dad and much less frustration for us both.  I am grateful to have this App to use with my mom, especially the emergency feature: the little red cross.   I have all the pertinent information at my fingertips!  What a relief!!

Another helpful website

For dealing with medical safety, go to https://healthfinder.gov/     Here you can type in the age of your patient and see what recommended health screenings are suggested as well as find out information on a variety of health issues that may be affecting our loved ones.   There is plethora of information here to help you navigate through these complex health issues.

Teaching Our Loved Ones to Ask for Help

rings5Most people want to be independent and do not want to be a burden on the family, hesitating to ask us for the help they need. When dealing with a family member who still has fairly strong cognitive abilities, we can only know where to provide help if we can teach our loved one to ask for help.  Of course we will see some obvious areas where help is needed, but in order to provide the best possible care, we need him/her to be open with us.

Teaching our Parents

When dealing with my father’s Alzheimer’s and my mother’s declining physical health, we had to convince Mom that it was better for us, if she could try to communicate her exact needs to us.   Once she realized that she was “helping” us by asking for what she needed,  then she could do it more easily.   We just needed to turn the tables for her realize that the best way to help us help her, was to be as specific as she could about what she needed.

When Mom saw some of the systems of organization (scheduling, medical, legal and communication) we had in place using the Genus™ App, she could see how knowing what help was needed ahead of time, could help us plan more efficiently and save us time in the end.   Thus, allowing a better quality of life for us all, not just Mom and Dad.  We had to convince Mom that by allowing her children to help with Dad’s Alzheimer’s, she was giving us a chance to give back to them.   She was enabling us to feel empowered about this frustrating and heartbreaking situation.  Again, it took some time for this change to take place, but with loving reminders from her children, she was able to more clearly communicate to us what exactly she needed help with.  This in turn, saved us valuable time as we tried to efficiently manage our personal lives along with caring for our parents.

Four Areas of Safety

But what about when our loved ones don’t even know what they need help with?   Whether it is because of a cognitive decline, or just the fact that our person of care is completely overwhelmed, he/she cannot communicate where exactly help is needed.   It is in this instance we need to remember that there are four areas of their safety to consider.

  • Physical
  • Emotional
  • Medical
  • Financial

It might seem overwhelming at first, but if we break it down into these 4 categories and tackle them one at a time, it is definitely doable.   In the Genus™ App, there are numerous articles, videos, and resources centered around these 4 areas of care:

Physical:  Think basic needs.  Food, shelter, clothing, water.  Also think about their mobility and pain factor, although this crosses over with medical.

Emotional:  Is our loved one getting the social interaction daily that is needed?  How about their mood?  Is your POC staying positive?  Do they need more social interaction?  You can track this using the Genus App.

Medical:  Do you have all the important documents and medical information filed in one place?  Are you tracking any specific vitals that need to be communicated to the doctor?  Do you have Medical POA?  If not, who does?

Legal and Financial:  Who is on the bank accounts with your loved one?  Who is helping him/her keep track of spending and finances?   What about plans for the future?

All of these areas are equally important, but some may take priority over others, depending on the situation and depending on timing.  One thing you can be sure of, things change constantly when caring for a loved one.  Keeping track of the changes is what can make the difference between a more positive experience and a very frustrating experience.  The best piece of advice I have here is:  Keep documenting, everything.  You won’t be sorry.  I found that by using the Genus™ App, I could more easily track the mounds of vital information.  Keeping me from feeling completely overwhelmed. Better yet, feeling as if we really have this situation under control.  That truly is the most comforting feeling of all when facing the challenge of caring for a loved one.  Knowing that this person we love so dearly is getting the best possible care we can provide.